Tug On This
Friday, March 25, 2005
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Frank Miller's Sin City
Now, I don't know how many of you have ever read the comic book SIN CITY, or have heard of Frank Miller, its creator.
And frankly, I don't care.
What I do care about, however, is the fact that the film based on the series of Sin City comics is releasing wide on April 1. That's next week to those of you still using the Mayan calendar. And I really think you ought to go see it.
First of all, you hve to like the source material. I happen to have a copy of the graphic novel --
INSERT SIDEBAR HERE
CROTCHETY OLD MARKETING BIG WIG AT DC/MARVEL COMICS:
Jesus Christ! Only 10-year olds are buying our comic books! We're going under! We're going under! It's over!
NEWBIE MARKETING DEPARTMENT GUY:
What should we do? Create adult-themed stories and pair them with quality art to attract more mature readers?
CROTCHETY OLD MARKETING BIG WIG AT DC/MARVEL COMICS:
Are you crazy? That'll never work.
NEWBIE MARKETING DEPARTMENT GUY:
I guess we could just call them "graphic novels" to trick them into thinking we're giving adult-themed stories and quality art.
CROTCHETY OLD MARKETING BIG WIG AT DC/MARVEL COMICS:
Graphic novels? Well, son. That's just crazy enough to work.
SIDEBAR END
I say, I happen to have a copy of the graphic novel that comprises one-third of the intertwined storyline of Sin City. It's called "That Yellow Bastard." Allow me to quote a passage, without explanation, without any set-up other than, in Sin City, the good guys aren't always good and neither are the bad guys. Everybody gets what they deserve. Usually near the end.
"Weeks slide into months until time has no meaning, none at all. The dull gray haze of post-surgery anesthesia gives way to the even more deadening process of legal this and legal that, of procedure after tired procedure, a dumb drama with an ending everybody knows before it even starts. I'm interrogated and accused and spat on and slapped around and indicted for a crime I didn't commit. I'm way past outrage, way past sweating and fretting, way past giving a damn. All this is nothing but a price I promised myself I'd pay and I'm paying it. You don't save a little girl's life, the turn around and throw her to the dogs. Not in my book, you don't. God knows why I didn't die like I should've. Back there on that rotten, blood-soaked dock where I rescued skinny little Nancy Callahan from that pervo son of a senator -- where my partner filled me with six Magnum slugs and nailed together the first few pieces of the frame they've stuck me in. Yeah, I should've died back there on that dock. I should've died and I wish I had, to the extent that I wish for anything. Past worrying. Past giving a damn. It's like it's all happening to somebody else. The wed sounds of impact stop. My head rolls around on my shoulders. My mouth coughs out a wad of blood. All on their own, without me askinng them to, my lungs expand, sucking in dusty, hot air, rusty old factory air. Detective Liebowitz gives with triombone-deep beer belch and chuckles. He's getting angry."
In Sin City, Frank Miller has created no heroes with capes, only people who, in their zeal to do what they believe is the right thing, often end up on the wrong side of a gun. Or a samurai sword. Or Nazi-shaped throwing star. Or teeth. Miller writes incredible words, draws amazing images and the whole thing resonates in a way few other comics ever have.
Then there's Robert Rodriguez. Yes, the Robert Rodriguez of Spy Kids. Remember though, before Spy Kids made him a millionaire, he was El Mariachi, and Desperado and Once Upon a Time In Mexico. ANd now, he's Robert Rodriguez of Sin City.
What he has done, mainly on a green screen (sorry Russell) is create the world of Sin City, exactly as it is rendered in the pages of the comics, right down to the steam escaping the manhole covers. It looks incredible. View the trailer here.
Not only has RR vowed to faithfully "translate" Sin City to the big screen, he even dropped out of the DGA so that he could bring Frank Miller in as co-director. Hmmm.
I'm telling you now, if you like Pulp Fiction or Reservoir Dogs, or even the Dirty Harry pictures, or even if you only remember Frank Miller from "The Dark Knight Returns," his seminal 1986 graphic novel series that brought Batman back to life, give Sin City a chance. The source material is incredibly good and the look of the film -- at least for me -- seems perfect.
See you there on April 1. ¶ 9:48 AM 3 comments
And frankly, I don't care.
What I do care about, however, is the fact that the film based on the series of Sin City comics is releasing wide on April 1. That's next week to those of you still using the Mayan calendar. And I really think you ought to go see it.
First of all, you hve to like the source material. I happen to have a copy of the graphic novel --
INSERT SIDEBAR HERE
CROTCHETY OLD MARKETING BIG WIG AT DC/MARVEL COMICS:
Jesus Christ! Only 10-year olds are buying our comic books! We're going under! We're going under! It's over!
NEWBIE MARKETING DEPARTMENT GUY:
What should we do? Create adult-themed stories and pair them with quality art to attract more mature readers?
CROTCHETY OLD MARKETING BIG WIG AT DC/MARVEL COMICS:
Are you crazy? That'll never work.
NEWBIE MARKETING DEPARTMENT GUY:
I guess we could just call them "graphic novels" to trick them into thinking we're giving adult-themed stories and quality art.
CROTCHETY OLD MARKETING BIG WIG AT DC/MARVEL COMICS:
Graphic novels? Well, son. That's just crazy enough to work.
SIDEBAR END
I say, I happen to have a copy of the graphic novel that comprises one-third of the intertwined storyline of Sin City. It's called "That Yellow Bastard." Allow me to quote a passage, without explanation, without any set-up other than, in Sin City, the good guys aren't always good and neither are the bad guys. Everybody gets what they deserve. Usually near the end.
"Weeks slide into months until time has no meaning, none at all. The dull gray haze of post-surgery anesthesia gives way to the even more deadening process of legal this and legal that, of procedure after tired procedure, a dumb drama with an ending everybody knows before it even starts. I'm interrogated and accused and spat on and slapped around and indicted for a crime I didn't commit. I'm way past outrage, way past sweating and fretting, way past giving a damn. All this is nothing but a price I promised myself I'd pay and I'm paying it. You don't save a little girl's life, the turn around and throw her to the dogs. Not in my book, you don't. God knows why I didn't die like I should've. Back there on that rotten, blood-soaked dock where I rescued skinny little Nancy Callahan from that pervo son of a senator -- where my partner filled me with six Magnum slugs and nailed together the first few pieces of the frame they've stuck me in. Yeah, I should've died back there on that dock. I should've died and I wish I had, to the extent that I wish for anything. Past worrying. Past giving a damn. It's like it's all happening to somebody else. The wed sounds of impact stop. My head rolls around on my shoulders. My mouth coughs out a wad of blood. All on their own, without me askinng them to, my lungs expand, sucking in dusty, hot air, rusty old factory air. Detective Liebowitz gives with triombone-deep beer belch and chuckles. He's getting angry."
In Sin City, Frank Miller has created no heroes with capes, only people who, in their zeal to do what they believe is the right thing, often end up on the wrong side of a gun. Or a samurai sword. Or Nazi-shaped throwing star. Or teeth. Miller writes incredible words, draws amazing images and the whole thing resonates in a way few other comics ever have.
Then there's Robert Rodriguez. Yes, the Robert Rodriguez of Spy Kids. Remember though, before Spy Kids made him a millionaire, he was El Mariachi, and Desperado and Once Upon a Time In Mexico. ANd now, he's Robert Rodriguez of Sin City.
What he has done, mainly on a green screen (sorry Russell) is create the world of Sin City, exactly as it is rendered in the pages of the comics, right down to the steam escaping the manhole covers. It looks incredible. View the trailer here.
Not only has RR vowed to faithfully "translate" Sin City to the big screen, he even dropped out of the DGA so that he could bring Frank Miller in as co-director. Hmmm.
I'm telling you now, if you like Pulp Fiction or Reservoir Dogs, or even the Dirty Harry pictures, or even if you only remember Frank Miller from "The Dark Knight Returns," his seminal 1986 graphic novel series that brought Batman back to life, give Sin City a chance. The source material is incredibly good and the look of the film -- at least for me -- seems perfect.
See you there on April 1. ¶ 9:48 AM 3 comments
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Graphics department -- You're fired!
No it's not a cross-network promotional stunt between ABC's "The Apprentice" and Fox's "American Idol." No, it's simply the truth of the matter. Apparently, somebody at Fox ran the wrong telephone numbers on the screen below last night's Idol contestants.
Yikes.
This means that some of you voted for the wrong people last night, and the mediocre new heartthrobs you wanted to stay may, or may not be the ones you wanted to boot off. Get it?
Either way, it's a huge (Prounounce it whtout the "H", like "Yuge!" That makes it bigger!) prob for the network.
Rumors are they are rebroadcasting the same show tonight with the correct numbers.
Man, am I glad I'm not the guy that keyed that stuff in last night.
Of course, Defamer is much better at this than me. They actually know the contestants' names.
P.S. I like one of the rockers. Not sure which one, though. And the girl who sings country, but not last night, she sang Heart. ¶ 11:48 AM 5 comments
Yikes.
This means that some of you voted for the wrong people last night, and the mediocre new heartthrobs you wanted to stay may, or may not be the ones you wanted to boot off. Get it?
Either way, it's a huge (Prounounce it whtout the "H", like "Yuge!" That makes it bigger!) prob for the network.
Rumors are they are rebroadcasting the same show tonight with the correct numbers.
Man, am I glad I'm not the guy that keyed that stuff in last night.
Of course, Defamer is much better at this than me. They actually know the contestants' names.
P.S. I like one of the rockers. Not sure which one, though. And the girl who sings country, but not last night, she sang Heart. ¶ 11:48 AM 5 comments
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Funky Winkerbean Pt. 4
Thank God the ShellShockStoryline is over!
What hilarity will ensue now?
The Comic Shop Owner selling porn?
Oh my God, I am falling over.
More later.
Comic porn! What a fucking riot.
Tom, you are too much! Too much!
Stop it. Seriously.
Funny.
¶ 9:15 AM 0 comments
What hilarity will ensue now?
The Comic Shop Owner selling porn?
Oh my God, I am falling over.
More later.
Comic porn! What a fucking riot.
Tom, you are too much! Too much!
Stop it. Seriously.
Funny.
¶ 9:15 AM 0 comments
Funky Winkerbean Pt. 3
So they hook him up with a Vietnam vet. You know, to share shell-shock stories.
Hi-lar-ious!
What will be the next comedic treasure chest you unearth, Tom?
Mass genocide? Ethnic cleansing?
Hey, how about the Iraqui Insurgents?
Har-dee-Har-Har!
¶ 9:12 AM 0 comments
Hi-lar-ious!
What will be the next comedic treasure chest you unearth, Tom?
Mass genocide? Ethnic cleansing?
Hey, how about the Iraqui Insurgents?
Har-dee-Har-Har!
¶ 9:12 AM 0 comments
Funky Winkerbean Pt. 2
After he struggles home, he falls into the loving arms ...
oh wait, the loving ARM of his fiance.
His one-armed fiance who lost a limb in an earlier storyline.
Still, not funny, Tom. Honestly.
¶ 9:00 AM 0 comments
oh wait, the loving ARM of his fiance.
His one-armed fiance who lost a limb in an earlier storyline.
Still, not funny, Tom. Honestly.
¶ 9:00 AM 0 comments
Funky Winkerbean Pt. 1
OK, Tom Batiuk, it's supposed to be funny. Funny like Les and Lisa have a mishap with the baby. Or the Crazy Postman goes to the Star Wars Convention. I'd even take the Band Director selling turkeys. Something. Anything.
But, you know, funny.
Giggle funny. Slap a knee funny. Snicker funny.
A helicopter crash, Tom? Not fucking funny.
¶ 8:59 AM 2 comments
But, you know, funny.
Giggle funny. Slap a knee funny. Snicker funny.
A helicopter crash, Tom? Not fucking funny.
¶ 8:59 AM 2 comments
Monday, March 07, 2005
Weather War 2K5: Doppler This!
In a battle that has raged for like, eight rounds of quarterly Arbitron Ratings Cycles, Mike Thompson of Kansas City's WDAF TV4, has lashed out brutally at his former protoge/colleague/co-worker/weather geek/slightly effeminate KSHB-TV Head Weather predictio, Gary Lezak. In this morning's column, Hearne Christopher, Kansas City Star's resident gossip king reported that the war of words had reached an unprecedented level. You could read the story if the freaking KC Star didn't make you pay for it. Rest assured: They's was some fighting words. First they argued about who's more right, more of the time; then they took pot-shots at each other, then Lezak (Or Sleestack, as my wife and I call him) challenged Thompson to some sort of a Meteorological Showdown. Which left me wondering: Just what are they going to do? See who can read the radar screen the fastest? Compete in some strangely sad green-screen weather map click-off? Simply stand on a street corner shouting: "I told you it was gonna be like this?"
Seriously, The War of the One Ring it ain't.
I have lived in Kansas City most of my life and the sad truth is this: In this town, like most of the Midwest, there is no friggin' way to predict the weather. Just the other day it went from sunny and 60 to rainy, 40 and lightning in the space of 30 minutes. Then, back to 60 and sunny.
I say they either shut up or Indian Leg Wrestle -- all oiled up and nude -- right on the air. I predict huge ratings. Oh, and that spring is coming.
¶ 4:13 PM 1 comments
Seriously, The War of the One Ring it ain't.
I have lived in Kansas City most of my life and the sad truth is this: In this town, like most of the Midwest, there is no friggin' way to predict the weather. Just the other day it went from sunny and 60 to rainy, 40 and lightning in the space of 30 minutes. Then, back to 60 and sunny.
I say they either shut up or Indian Leg Wrestle -- all oiled up and nude -- right on the air. I predict huge ratings. Oh, and that spring is coming.
¶ 4:13 PM 1 comments
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
National Institutes of Health New Finding: Teens are Morons
A story in this morning's USA Today states that the National Institutes of Health have at long last confirmed what pretty much every adult in the world has known for 5000 or so years: Teenagers are complete and utter jackasses. The findings are fairly simple: Teens are just too busy playing a 24-7 game of grabass to be trusted behind the wheel.
Upcoming study: Is it possible for 15-year old boys to jerk off 10 times a day? One Akron, Ohio teen stuns medical panel. ¶ 10:22 AM 197 comments
Upcoming study: Is it possible for 15-year old boys to jerk off 10 times a day? One Akron, Ohio teen stuns medical panel. ¶ 10:22 AM 197 comments
