From here to Courscant and back again. Well, we're just about 24 hours away from the wide release of "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith" and I decided that it's high time to tell you what I am feeling about all this.

For those of you who know me well, you are fully aware that I am a self-professed Star Wars nut. From the day I so, so innocently wandered into the Glenwood Thetre at 91st and Metcalf in Overland Park, Kansas to today, I have been absolutely Star Wars crazy. (Some would say obsessed, but other than dressing up as a Jawa for Halloween in 1978, I have never again put on a Star Wars costume. And, frankly, costumes are where I draw the Mendoza line between fan and fanatic.)

But I digress.

The reason I'm here today is to state something many of you will not believe. So, without further ado, here it is:

I don't care if Episode III stinks.

Just as I didn't care that Episode II kinda stunk, and Episode I totally did; I just do not care if Ep III is a total stink-bomb. Know why? 'Cause I love Star Wars too much to hate it.

It doesn't matter how bad the acting and writing is (often terrible, occasionally cringe-worthy). It doesn't matter that Obi-Wan told Luke Yoda trained him, making absolutely no mention of Qui-Gon. It doesn't matter that Jar Jar was annoying. It doesn't matter that George Lucas stripped in the Young Anakin at the end of Jedi.

As Bill Murray said so eloquently in Meatballs, "It just doesn't matter if we win or lose because the guys over at Camp Winnekwakwa have all the money and will still get all the girls. It just doesn't matter."

It just doesn't matter how good or bad this episode is. (Some people -- mainly angry fanboys -- still hate it. Others -- USA Today and NY Times -- are proclaiming it as either the best of the bunch, that's right, the WHOLE bunch, or at least equal to Empire. That's a big deal, Gungans. A really big deal.

But like I said, it just doesn't matter whether it's bad or good because it's still Star Wars. And frankly, Star Wars taught me a lot about the world, myself and life.

1. It taught me that there IS a galaxy far, far away. It taught me that somewhere, outside of my own head, backyard and sphere of influence, there exist wonderous worlds, magical forces and frightening (and breathtaking) creatures. It taught me to look to the stars, but not at the expense of "Where I was, what I was doing." Thank you Master Yoda. Back in '77, I started becoming a Jedi.

2. It taught me that great battles are being waged out there, even if I can't see them. Everywhere in the world, the battle between the Light and the Dark side is on, man. It's on like crazy. And if you don't think that leaders/warlords like Supreme Chancellor Palpatine/Darth Sidious actually exist, well then you haven't a clue about the governments of places like the former Yugoslavia, the Congo and Iraq. Star Wars is in the news everyday, people. Especially here in 2K5.

3. It taught me that doing what is right isn't easy, but it is always right. That Dark side isn't stronger, it's just easier, quicker, more seductive. Search your feelings, you know it be true. And, like the Jedi, you're probably teaching it every day to your own Padawans. Good for you.

4. It taught me that if you follow your heart, you'll win out in the end. Sometimes that means a you make a lot of money, sometimes that means you get a great wife and two beautiful kids. Sometimes it means both. No matter who you are or what you do, you have a chance, every day, to save the Princess, to escape from the Death Star and to save the galaxy. So follow your heart and take your shot. If you don't you'll regret it. (I know this from experience.)

5. It taught me that I have a choice, and that I choose to be a Jedi. The Jedi use the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack. The Jedi protect peace, they use reason, they use compassion. Again, if you've got Padawans of your own, they (and you) can learn a lot from the Jedi.

Yep, today I'm glad I live in a world with Star Wars. And tomorrow I'll be glad. And the next day and the next too.

And if your wondering whether this last film will restore the George Lucas legacy or will knock the final peg out from beneath it, I have just one final thing to say:

It doesn't matter.

Because Star Wars, those crazy Star Wars (thanks again Bill Murray), are here and they are never, never going away. At least for me.

The Force will be with you. Always. (See, even the dead Sir Alec Guinness agrees with me.)
  ¶ 8:54 PM