American Idoloscopy OK. I'm going to cop to being a closet American Idol fan. I cannot help myself. Watching this seemingly endless parade of talentless morons parading themselves -- on national TV, mind you -- before Paula, Randy, Simon, God and the World is true TrainWreck Television™.
I mean, some of these bozos that got cut last night couldn't carry a tune if they had eight hands and a couple of wheelbarrows. Seriously. Why do they feel the need to subject themselves to this self-esteem destroying process?

Simple: They want money.

Oh, sure, they can boast and brag about how "if they're not able to express themselves through music, they'd rather die" and all that blah-blah-bliggity-blah, but the bottom line is this: They want to be famous.

Oh yeah, and rich.

I'll be honest, I can sing a little bit and play guitar a little bit, but man, I have no delusions of grandeur. And certainly not enough sheer balls to get up on a stage in front of millions of people and look like a complete jackass.

I mean, I do that everyday, but it doesn't get broadcast.

So, rest assured, FOX-TV, I'll be watching the talentless flacks.

Oh, I'll be watching.
  ¶ 9:29 AM