Book Burning Burning Ok. This happens every year when a bunch of idiot, that's right I said IDIOT parents suddenly decide that some of the books their kid's schools are assigning are "bad" or "offensive" or "dirty." Unfortunately, many of these books are also "classics" or "watersheds" or "books that every living person on the planet should be forced to read and discuss."

Here in Kansas City two school distircts in two affluent suburbs -- one on the Kansas side and one on the Missouri side -- are embroiled in book banning piccadiloes right now. Both the Blue Valley and Blue Springs school boards are hearing parents complain about "terrible, offensive" books like Toni Morrison's "Song of Solomon," and Kurt Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse-Five." During the news story I watched last night about this debacle, I also caught the cover of (drum roll here) "Catcher In The Rye."

I can't believe I didn't see "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" in there along with "Are You There God? It's Me Margaret" but I'm sure they were both soaking in a bucket of lighter fluid while the cameraman was shooting the B-roll for the story.

Most of the parents I saw were concerned about the language, racism, war and sex in these novels. Unfortunately, they don't seem to be concerned by the things their kids can learn about language, racism, war and sex from reading these books, they only want to make sure they don't read them, and consequently, don't learn.

So ban the books school districts. Don't worry, there are libraries around the world that will still have them. You can also go to Read Print. It's a free online library that hosts full copies of tons of the classics. Thankfully, they are adding more every week.

And, kids, if you still want to read these books your parents are terrified of, you can come on over to my house. By my count I have read and own 20 or so of the most attacked books of all time. You can borrow my copy.

Or better yet, maybe we'll sit in a room and read it together. And after that, we can discuss it. What a novel -- no pun intended -- concept.

Shame on you lazy, idiot parents. Your kids are already learning everything you don't seem to want them to know from MTV. As you ban these books, I sincerely suggest banning the box, as well. As far as McTighe Haüs goes, I've got two boys, one is a toddler, one is an infant. When they grow up, they can read any book they like. If I'm concerned about its content (which I won't be) I will read it with them and we'll talk about it together.

In fact, I may just go out right now and get a couple of copies of "The Catcher In The Rye" and put them on their bookshelves next to "The Cat In The Hat" and the various Thomas The Tank Engine books. Why? Because I, for one, will be offended if my sons DON'T read these books.

To tell Blue Valley to leave the reading list alone visit Blue Valley School District.To tell Blue Springs, visit Blue Springs School District.  ¶ 9:27 AM