Tug On This

Making a TV commercial.

2007-12-17T12:35:00.000-06:00

We're making some TV commercials for one of our clients this week. Making a TV commercial is like nothing else I've ever done. It's tiring, exhilirating, daunting, fun and maddening. What's most amazing about the whole thing is that you can shoot the foyer of a home where there is a staircase going up, then turn around and shoot the dining room like it's the upstairs, then turn around again and shoot the kitchen counter like it's the mailroom of the office you're shooting in the next day.

Oh, and don't forget you can shoot a high school office to look like a hospital waiting room and then go outside onto the football field so you can shoot a football field. However, you only have three players and a coach and that's supposed to (and does) look like a full team.

Mark Bennett, excellent director and friend, once said it this way:

It's the lie that tells the truth.

I like that.

Ooops, gotta go look at some wardrobe choices.

Friday.

2007-07-27T10:53:00.000-05:00

Today is Friday and Fridays are always good.
They come when you least expect them.
Sure you know they're always at the end of a workweek.
Whether good or bad or great or something else altogether.
But you know how some Thursdays seem like Mondays and how you can
wake up on a Wednesday, think it's Saturday, realize it's Wednesday and
then almost cry because it's not Saturday? (I know you know.)

But today is Friday and you know Fridays are good because
at the end of the day a beer or a ballgame or a dog or a friend
or a loved one or a child or a mom or a dad or a movie or a sitting
on some deck or a novel or a video game or a something-else-you've-
been-waiting-all-week-for

awaits.

Ireland 1, France 0

2007-05-15T15:54:00.000-05:00

Uh, duh. Like we didn't know that beer and potatoes make you loads happier than champagne and goose liver.

Check out the fact that the Irish are the happiest workers here.

Jesus.

2007-05-14T21:00:00.000-05:00

Last post was fucking Christmas? Sorry about that.

Truth is, I haven't had that much to write. Here, I mean. I've been terribly busy for the past just about half year writing on the professional side of the fence. Advertising is one of those things that can be great one day and shite the next.

But I think that's the case for pretty much anybody's job.

Either way, I plan to get more of my thoughts down here. But I can't make any promises.

Listening to Marillion right now. Holy smokes, you'd think it was 1986 all over again. But thank God it's not.

Tug List - Christmas 2K6

2006-12-19T10:46:00.000-06:00

Noted without comment:

"Linus and Lucy" by the Vince Guaraldi Trip
When Frosty says "Happy birthday!"
Barbeque/Brothers by The Frogtown Hollow Juibiee JugBand
An official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time
Honey Baked Ham™
Christmas Microbrews
NBA 07 for XBOX 360
Christmas and New Year's Parties
Saying "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays"
Dressing the kids up in matching Christmas jammies
Trying to get to sleep on Christmas Eve
Setting cookies and milk out for Santa
Santa Claus
The Abominable Snow Monster a.k.a. The Bumble
Yukon Cornelius
The Charley In The Box
The South Park Christmas Card where Jesus and Santa get in a Kung Fu fight.
"Dude, don't say pigfucker in front of Jesus."
The fact that Rudolph was created by advertising copywriter Robert L. May in 1939
The fact that Montgomery & Ward donated the trademark to him in 1947
The fact that I will be spending this Christmas with Sarah, Sean, Nick all the McTighes and all the Bucks.
Happy Christmas War is Over (If you want it)
Peace.

Noted without comment.

2006-11-14T11:43:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was an historic event in the U.S.A. and I'm proud of all of you who voted for change.

2006-11-09T11:27:00.000-06:00

What happened reminded me of this:

Hey, do you know about the U.S.A.?
Do you know about the government?
Can you tell me about the Constitution?
Hey, learn about the U.S.A.

In 1787 I'm told
Our founding fathers did agree
To write a list of principles
For keepin' people free.

The U.S.A. was just startin' out.
A whole brand-new country.
And so our people spelled it out
The things that we should be.

And they put those principles down on
paper and called it the Constitution, and
it's been helping us run our country ever
since then. The first part of the
Constitution is called the preamble and tells
what those founding fathers set out to do.

We the people
In order to form a more perfect union,
Establish justice, insure domestic tranquility,
Provide for the common defense,
Promote the general welfare and
Secure the blessings of liberty
To ourselves and our posterity
Do ordain and establish this Constitution
for the United States of America.

In 1787 I'm told
Our founding fathers all sat down
And wrote a list of principles
That's known the world around.

The U.S.A. was just starting out
A whole brand-new country.
And so our people spelled it out
They wanted a land of liberty.
And the preamble goes like this:

We the people
In order to form a more perfect union,
Establish justice, insure domestic tranquility,
Provide for the common defense,
Promote the general welfare and
Secure the blessings of liberty
To ourselves and our posterity,
Do ordain and establish this Constitution
for the United States of America.

For the United States of America.

I urge all outgoing Republicans and all incoming Democrats to watch America Rock. They all might learn a little something. (You should watch it too.)

Darn! That's the end.

It's not everywhere.

2006-10-20T11:54:00.000-05:00

But it's closer.

Obviously, just got back from Australia.
There's at lesst two or three posts in there.
Hopefully I'll get to writing them soon.
G'day mates.

Heat is broken.

2006-07-21T11:13:00.000-05:00

It has been fucking hot here in KC the past few weeks.
But hot everywhere else, too.

Jesus - 99 in Denver.100+ in Bismark, ND? Seriously. That ain't healthy.

But today it is crisp and cool and a little bit rainy. I like it.
I'm gonna walk outside in a little while and find a nice place to have lunch.
Maybe even sit outside.

'Cause that's what life is all about isn't it?

A nice place to have lunch.

You order your burger or salad or whatever and just be.

For an hour at least.

And then it's back to the salt mines.

(But on days like this, even the salt mines seem ok.)

Tuglist June 2006

2006-06-16T10:59:00.000-05:00

The World Cup

Target On Lingerie

2006-06-14T12:08:00.000-05:00

The other day I had to run into Target to pick up a couple of things I needed for a camping trip I was taking. I was about to hustle on by, but I caught a glimpse of the ladies' underwear section. Guess what? I strolled right through that sumbich. All the way through. Took my time too. And you know what? I liked it. Now, Victoria's Secret it ain't. But bottom line: Them's still ladies panties.

And for a red-blooded American male, I'm not sure there's a much better department.

The Value of Tearing Things Apart

2006-06-05T09:58:00.001-05:00

We have a guy coming over tomorrow to remodel our bathroom, so I spent the better part of Saturday and Sunday utterly tearing it apart. See, they charge you to tear the stuff out before they rebuild it, so I decided to save a few bucks and do it myself. Boy am I glad I did.

There was something definitely therapeutic about hammer and chiseling the old, hideously ugly tile off the subfloor, pretty much one tile at a time. Since our house is so old, most of the tile came up really, really easliy. However, and this was the part I liked the best, every so often one of the little tiles would hold his ground and not let me chip him off. Holding onto his tile brothers for dear life, he would not let go.

Until I made him.

It's really quite simple: First I admired his resolve, and then I got to admire mine.

Haven't had much to say.

2006-06-01T11:15:00.000-05:00

I've been wanting to write more on this blog but simply haven't thought up anything good to say. I want to be smart and funny and poignant, but most of the time I end up sounding a lot like a lot of other people. It makes me wonder if I am smart or funny or poignant. It also makes me wonder if you need to pick one or maybe two of those things and go with it.

And right now, I mean this, right exactly now, I'm thinking that to write a blog or an ad or a book or a song, you just have to sort of go with it. Do what you're doing right then. Write what you're thinking at the exact moment you think it and see if it works. And if it does work, it'll probably lead you someplace.

Which is exactly where you wanted to go in the first place.

I am small.

2006-03-24T11:33:00.000-06:00

Tug's Worldmap
Originally uploaded by Tug.

I came across this nifty little map generator courtesy of my friend and advertising guru Mark Fenske. He has been a lot more places than I have and his map is nearly as blank as mine is. I suspect Hank's will be a little more filled in as will Lizzie's and Paula's and Brad's. But to the rest of us (and them) who only have a little bit of color on this whole big blue marble of ours, I have something to say:

So go somewhere. Do something.
Somewhere warm.
Or cold.
Or sunny.
Or cloudy.
Somwhere with an -ia at the end.
Or a -land.
Or a -slovokia.
Doesn't matter.
Go somewhere you haven't been. See something you haven't seen.

I plan to.
And I plan to show my two boys this map as soon as they are old enough to understand that there's a big world out there that's just waiting to be trodden upon.

So go to the create your own visited countries map site and decide which part of the world gets a red splash first.

Technology Loathing 101: What not to do.

2006-02-20T15:00:00.000-06:00

This story appeared on aolnews.com and made me nearly die from the Dum Dum Chills. Evidence bomb about to blow! 3-2-1. Thanks to January for the tip.

Lawyers' Heated Argument Over Employment Agreement Went Public
(Feb. 19) - Dianna Abdala, a 24-year-old Boston-area attorney, had apparently agreed to work for William Korman.
Then things went sour in a series of last minute e-mails.

Following is their e-mail correspondence, obtained by ABC News' "Nightline," that degenerated into a spat that got e-mailed to various attorneys, publications and "Nightline."

-----Original Message-----
From: Dianna Abdala
Sent: Friday, February 03, 2006 9:23 PM
To: William A. Korman
Subject: Thank you

Dear Attorney Korman,

At this time, I am writing to inform you that I will not be accepting your offer.

After careful consideration, I have come to the conclusion that the pay you are offering would neither fulfill me nor support the lifestyle I am living in light of the work I would be doing for you. I have decided instead to work for myself, and reap 100% of the benefits that I sow.

Thank you for the interviews.

Dianna L. Abdala, Esq.

-----Original Message-----
From: William A. Korman
To: Dianna Abdala
Sent: Monday, February 06, 2006 12:15 PM
Subject: RE: Thank you

Dianna --

Given that you had two interviews, were offered and accepted the job (indeed, you had a definite start date), I am surprised that you chose an e-mail and a 9:30 PM voicemail message to convey this information to me. It smacks of immaturity and is quite unprofessional. Indeed, I did rely upon your acceptance by ordering stationary and business cards with your name, reformatting a computer and setting up both internal and external e-mails for you here at the office. While I do not quarrel with your reasoning, I am extremely disappointed in the way this played out. I sincerely wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

Will Korman

-----Original Message-----
From: Dianna Abdala
Sent: Monday, February 06, 2006 4:01 PM
To: William A. Korman
Subject: Re: Thank you

A real lawyer would have put the contract into writing and not exercised any such reliance until he did so.

Again, thank you.

-----Original Message-----
From: William A. Korman
To: Dianna Abdala
Sent: Monday, February 06, 2006 4:18 PM
Subject: RE: Thank you

Thank you for the refresher course on contracts. This is not a bar exam question. You need to realize that this is a very small legal community, especially the criminal defense bar. Do you really want to start pissing off more experienced lawyers at this early stage of your career?

-----Original Message-----
From: Dianna Abdala
To: William A. Korman
Sent: Monday, February 06, 2006 4:28 PM
Subject: Re: Thank you

bla bla bla

02-19-06 09:54 EST

P.S. While she's obviously pretty smart when it comes to the whereases, the heretofores and the prior restraints etc. she can't spell "blah blah blah" for shit.

Torino or Turin, Either way I'm down.

2006-02-16T14:40:00.000-06:00

Torino or Turin? Either way I'm down.
Originally uploaded by Tug.

Da-da-da-duh-duh-duh-duh-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-dada-dada-dah!

I will admit, I have Olympic FEVER! From the impossible to navigate downhill slope that has maimed three skiiers, to the too smooth, steep and bendy bobsled run that has gravely injured 53 more, it appears that the point of this year's games is to destroy as many athletic careers as possible.

seriously, I watched a lifeflight, er, I mean, highlight reel of greivous injuries on NBC this morning. I mean this was Theismann's leg all over again. If Theismann was skiing down an ice slope at Mach 4 and then LT hit him. Jesus.

And the other thing that's funny -- not funny Ha-ha, but funny ironic -- is that the Women's Olympic Ski Team told the Torinoans that the course was too easy and told them to make it harder. Nice call. So far, the US Women's team has been the most oft-injured. And by injured I mean gravelly.

So on with the games! Oh the spectacle! Oh the grace! Oh the theme song! Oh the compound fractures!

Ad Agency Christmas Cards that Didn't Make The Cut

2005-12-14T14:02:00.000-06:00

During my illustrious (read: relatively unmemorable) career in the ad game, I have had a few occasions to be assigned to help create the agency Christmas cards. Here's a couple that I uncovered while I was moving my crap from SHS to Callahan Creek. They, obviously, never made the cut, but I wanted to share them anyhow.

The first was an accordion-style folding card that was far to expensive to produce and far too stupid to approve. I, however, still find it amusing in it's absurdity. Now, imagine that each of the following prhases appears by itself on it's own page of the accordion folding piece.

Christmas is coming.
The goose is getting fat.
Please put a penny in the old man's hat.
If you haven't got a penny, a hay penny will do.
If you haven't got a hay penny
Then you can just make the check out to "Cash."

Happy Holidays from your friends at [INSERT AGENCY NAME HERE]

The second one I found was really awful. Or is it good?

The front of the card has three pictures:
Young Handsome Elvis
Black Leather Comback Elvis
Las Vegas Fat and Drugged Up Elvis

You open it up and it simply says:

We Three Kings.

Happy Holidays from your friends at [INSERT AGENCY NAME HERE]

And finally, the coup de grace.

Front of card looks like a conversation.

GUY1: Well, they assigned us the Christmas card this year.
GUY2: Oh no.
GUY1: Yep.
GUY2: Every year we come up with a bunch of concepts and then management kills all of them for one stupid reason or another.
GUY1: Yeah, and we're already buried with client work.
GUY2: No kidding. And buzz work for the award shows.
GUY1: Yeah. I swear, what they ought to do is just send a generic card that says we have made a donation in their name to a charity.
GUY2: Seriously.

Then you open it up and it says:

Don't you wish that's what they had done instead of this card?

Ha ha. Merry Christmas to all you poor bastards in advertising and all you poor bastards in everything else.

Peace on Earth good will toward men. Now go home and drink some of that monster egg nog my brother makes with lighter fluid.

Rock on in 2K6.

Tug In Lawrence, KS

2005-12-05T11:13:00.000-06:00

After much soul-searching, I have taken a new job after 6.5 years at SHS-KC. The agency is called Callahan Creek (callahancreek.com) and it's in Lawrence, Kansas. Home of the KU Jayhawks, home of many, many, many fantastic bars, home of many, many, many. many beautiful co-eds, and now, home of me.

I am Associate Creative Director, and pretty soon, I'll let you know what clients I'll be working on.

You'll still be able to catch my act with Johnny J over at American Copywriter (americancopywriter.typepad.com) so don't miss it.

That is all for now.

Peace.

tug

And when I remember how to make copy above active, I will.

Tug List for November, 2005

2005-11-04T10:37:00.000-06:00

Batman Begins
iPod Video (Technology envy, you are my master!)
Blazing Saddles
Akira Kurosawa
Kill Bill Vol 1 and Vol 2
RA Salvatore
Patty Melt Sandwiches
Fantasy Football Sites (fantasyfootballchamps.com is my personal favorite)
Genghis Khan Mongolian Grill
Mofro
"That's the Way I've Always Heard It Should Be" by Carly Simon
Coheed & Cambria's new song
Stewie from "The Family Guy"
Nirvana
Pearl Jam
Seinfeld episode "The Reverse Peephole" (Fisheye -- sees all.)
Wallace & Gromit
Former FEMA director Mike Brown's unbelievable emails
Avian Bird Flu
Flu Shot shortage
Stephen King's "The Stand"
Peter Jackson 1.0 -- I liked him better disheveled and overweight
Drake University

I am NOT an innovator. (But some people are.)

2005-10-18T15:19:00.000-05:00

Seriously, I am clearly not an innovator. I came across the following list of the 100 oldest dot com domains -- thanks Craig Kobler -- and was simply blown away for a couple of reasons.

1. Check out the dates these people were registering their domain names. Earliest is in 1985.

**Back in 1985, I was listening to Depeche Mode, just getting through my Freshman year at Hillcrest Junior High in Overland Park, Kansas and dating a wonderful girl. I was also desperately trying to lose my virginity to her. She eventually succumbed and I did. At the same time I'm saying, "Man, my girlfriend smells good. I have got to put my thing in her thing" these people are saying, "You know, the miitary just opened up the Internet for people like us. We should register a domain name."

2. There was someone who you could call and register a domain name.

**Huh? I still don't know what gives godaddy.com the right to tell me that I have the rights to www.zabaduzeep.com if I pay them $6.95, but sure enough, something does. And, way back in 1985, there was someone to do it as well. Ah, commerce.

3. Here in 2005, we have just scratched the surface of what the Internet/World Wide Web can do and can do for us; what kinds of things we can put up there, download from there and look at on there; as well as how content can be delivered to everyone that wants it or to no one at all.

**What's amazing here is that 20 fucking years ago there were people at Xerox, IBM and a few months later, at companies like Apple and ATT, who did understand that this Internet, this odd group of military servers, would one day change the world.

Seriously, think of it. It's a mindfuck man. It really is.

Records You Should Own - Part I

2005-09-27T13:22:00.000-05:00

Here are 5 records every music-loving person should have in their personal collection. Not maybe, not opinion, simple fact. Go buy them. And if you have at least three of them, then you know what the fuck you're doing and don't need my help.

1. Songs In The Key of Live by Stevie Wonder
Magnificent from top to bottom. A double-album that showcases one of the greatest songwriters/musicians/singers ever to grace the planet. And for you hip-hop fans, at least 50% of this record has been sampled into huge rap singles.
Songs you know: Saturn, Sir Duke, Isn't She Lovely
Songs you should know: Love's In Need of Love Today, Ebony Eyes

2. The Beatles (White Album) by The Beatles
A true masterpiece. One of their three finest moments. And to think that John, Paul, George and Ringo were rarely in the studio together while it was being recorded. Another double-record. Genius.
Songs you know: Rocky Raccoon, Birthday, While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Songs you should know: Piggies, Sexy Sadie, Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except For Me And My Monkey

3. Aja by Steely Dan
One of the top 10 records to come outof the 70s. Strange jazz-based rock, it's amazing it was ever popular at all.
Songs you know: Deacon Blues, Josie, Black Cow
Songs you should know: Aja, Home at Last

4. Rumours by Fleetwood Mac
The story of two couples that were breaking up at the time of the album's writing. It went on to sell a buggabillion copies.
Between Christine McVie's singing, Stevie Nick's singing and Lindsay Buckinham's guitar stylings -- man. It never gets old.
Songs you know: Go Your Own Way, You Make Loving Fun, Gold Dust Woman
Songs you should know: Songbird, Second Hand News

5. Ghost in the Machine by The Police
My pick for their 2nd best record (behind "Synchronicity.") It has it all: examples of their odd punk/ska mix, strange singing and even a song written in French.
Songs you know: Spirits In The Material World, Every Little Thing She Does is Magic
Songs you should know: Invisible Sun, Hungry For You (j'aurais toujours faim de toi)

That is all for today's lesson. Go buy some records.

Murphy 1991 - 2005

2005-09-15T08:40:00.000-05:00

Originally uploaded by Tug.

Murphy came into my life on a beautiful and Sunny day in September of 1991.

I was a senior in college and my Drake soccer team had driven down to Kansas City -- my hometown -- for a game against Rockhurst. As I recall, the details of memory are often sketchy, we lost the game 3-2. I played sparingly, the Coach was "rebuilding" for the future and myself and a couple of other seniors saw precious little playing time that year. It was unfortunate that I had played so little, for both my brothers and my Mom had come to the game. Hey, I figured, at least they'll have a care package for me.

And what a care package it was.

After we had emerged from the locker room, my family was all standing around in the parking lot with a new member of the family. A tiny red ball of fur no bigger than a loaf of bread. "Tug," my Mother said, "this is Murphy. He's your college graduation present."

Now, as I stated earlier, I was really just into the beginnings of my senior year, and while I was on track to graduate on time that May (which I did) you still don't normally get graduation gifts 9 months before the fact. But that's my Mom, unconventional to say the least.

The way she figured it, she'd take Murphy for the school year and get him house-trained and all that crap (with a focus on dog crap) while I was finishing up at school, then, when I came home -- there here would be for me.

And there he was.

For the past 14 years, Murph has been a best friend, a companion and a pain in the neck (and parts lower). He has been a barker, a whiner, a heavy breather, a snorer, a puss and a pillow. He has had goopy eyes, has worn the lampshade, has been on a chain, a leash and in a number of big, green yards. He has had trouble with wood floors, with linoleum, with decks and with stairs. He has slept with me, near me or all the way downstairs from me. He has been called Murphy, Murph, Fee, Phlaah, Mr. Furry Pants, Mr. Furry Pantalones and Mr. Furry Lederhosen. He has been the Shaggy D.A. and has had the summer cut. He has run after balls, sticks and bones. He has swum in baby pools and in ponds and even once, in a lake. He has sniffed other dogs, has eaten dirty underwear and once had a big thing for stinky socks. He has licked my face, my friends' faces, my loved ones' faces and other dogs' faces. He was gentle as a feather to my two infant sons Sean and Nick, was a wonderful friend to my wife Sarah and was ever faithful to me.

Unfortunately, the past few years he has also had bad hips, a bad back, a tumor on his side and other issues with his digestion and general heath that I won't go into here. Yesterday, we awoke to find that Murph's back-half was paralyzed. His hind legs were as stiff and staight as reeds, and they were utterly uncontrollable. I kept on trying to get him to stand up, but he simpy couldn't. All the time though, that his body was giving out on him, he stayed Murph. He wagged his tail till the end, friends. He wagged his tail to the end.

To add to all this, he also hadn't been drinking water for two or three days and yesterday, wouldn't eat. Even from Sarah's hand. We took him to our excellent vet, Dr. Brock Exline, who, thankfully, didn't judge us or try to tell us that he could fix this. So, the proper medications were procured, and we pet and held him for the last moments of his life.

And then, at the last moment -- I promise you that this is true -- he lifted his head off the floor, put it on my knee, looked into my eyes and sighed. Then he lay down and went to eversleep.

We stayed with him for a few more moments. Then slowly got up, dried our eyes and walked away.

I love you Murphy. Now and forever you are my best boy.

Go, run now and fetch a ball.

Time Flies When You're Alive

2005-09-07T10:26:00.000-05:00

Sweet fancy Moses, this was 8 years ago.
Originally uploaded by Tug.

No, seriously, this was eight years ago. I was just getting through my first year at Barkely Evergreen & Partners, was just two months away from my first anniversary with Sarah and was four years away from Sean being born. Wow.

I am struck by this lyric from track 1, "Whatever I Fear."

Did we expect these things to change
By waking up and suddenly there they are
And all I need's a starting place
And nothing ever seemed so hard

Greatest line to ever be uttered on television.

2005-08-31T13:22:00.000-05:00

OLD MAN: Those bastards! The fourth time I�ve been here. And I still can'�t get that colostomy bag to fit!

I nearly choked on my own sip of water when I heard this last night. Unfuckingbelievable.

FROM:
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 3 - Episode: The Surrogate
First aired: February 22, 2004

It's not the shoes, Mars.

2005-08-30T08:48:00.000-05:00

Originally uploaded by Tug.

Or the uniforms. Hey Detroit, you can change your uniforms all you want, but changing your team's ultimate suckitude is going to take a lot more than these Carolina Pahther-like unis. Seriousy, I was watching you get pummeled by St. Louis last night and was getting pretty worried that my backup fantasy QB, Jake Delhomme, was looking pretty bad out there. Then I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized it wasn't Delhomme at all but assmaster Joey Harrington. Whew. What a load off my mind that was.

So Detroit, while we here at TUGCO applaud your desires to change yourselves, we just think you need to start with team personel and coaching. Changing your shirts isn't going to help.

On the bright side, once you're out of the playoff race, maybe Carolina will take 'em off your hands for their stretch run. That's putting a positive spin on it, huh?

Counselors at SageWalk Did Jada a disservice.

2005-08-25T11:15:00.000-05:00

Originally uploaded by Tug.

I'll admit, I got hooked on ABC's "Brat Camp" from the first moment I saw the first trailer. I watched all the episodes with my wife and really began to root for the kids. Save one. Yep, Jada. Another brick in the wall of a long line of reality show bad girls, Jada was simply a joy to watch. Now, it's easy to call me crass and unfeeling, she is after all, a 15-year old child, but I cannot feel sorry for her.

She continually bad mouthed the people who were trying to help her. She continually made fun of her fellow SageWalkers. And, worst of all, she looked into the camera during one of her interviews and told the world that her parents are "such suckers." Ha ha, you little bitch. You can rot out there in the Oregon desert for all I care. (I can't figure out why SageWalk didn't show her parents that clip when Jada was begging to come home. That might have sealed her fate.) And thought I hate to say it, I think this girl might be a total loss. I mean, she never even realized why she was there, she never tried to be a part of the group, hell, she never even stopped lying.

And frankly, when they counselors decided to graduate her at the end of the program, they did her a huge disservice. She simply wasn't ready. I'll tell you, they should have kept her out there for antother 60, 120, 180 days. Maybe, just maybe, she would have finally reailzed her parents were serious about her getting better.

Except, unfortunately, they weren't serious. During her time at SageWalk, they continually called and cried and begged and pleaded with the counselors that Jada was "dying out there." (She wasn't.) And that's the crime of the whole thing. Her parents are absolute idiots. She's been playing them for years, and continues to do so, and it's not really her fault. It's theirs.

And after all this they, incredibly, continue to believe every single lie she tells. It's a shame. Almost as big a shame as the post mortem at the end of the show. It stated that soon after she got home, Jada got into some trouble for nearly killing a family with a runaway boat she was driving. Apparently, she had refused to go to boarding school. Wait a minute. Refused? Let me ask her moron parents this simple question: Who's the boss of Jada? From my six-week, highly edited look into her life, it appears that Jada is the boss. And what a lousy boss she is. She's actually the kind of boss that's gonna either allow herself to kill someone else, or kill herself. Seriously.

P.S. I'm gonna pitch a show to ABC called "Idiot Parent Bustdown" where parenting experts send some shitass parents through a bootcamp that teaches them how to raise decent, productive kids. Hey Jada's parents - you oughta sign up.

P.P.S. I know all about the power of editing but don't believe for a second that Jada's exploits out there were created in the Avid Suite. You can't cut together footage you don't have. It's as simple as that.

Tug List for August, 2005 - Amended and Commented

2005-08-22T13:15:00.000-05:00

Tug On This reader Max disagreed with my mentioning of the Sin City DVD on my Tug List for August. After further review of said DVD, we here at TUGCO™ are inclined to agree and hertofore rescind our listing on the list. This DVD is ass. There is a 2-disc special edition coming out just in time for Christmas. Save your money or put it on your list for then.

I also need to add "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" to this list. I saw it last night and must say that it was incredible. I liked it from the opening credits to the amazing Tim Burton-only scene that ends the film. I loved everything about this movie. Everything.

Also want to note that Priest Holmes still has what it takes. Tug's Stat Projection: 24 TDs and 1545 yards. (Rushing and receiving.)

That is all.

Tug List for August, 2005

2005-08-16T08:52:00.000-05:00

Kansas City's New Bus Line - MAX (Metro Area Express)
Wedding Crashers
Fantasy Football
Jumping Cats
America's Funniest Home Videos
Granola Bars
The World Chill Website - Worldchill
Sin City on DVD
Kansas City Chiefs
Kansas City Royals
Kansas City Wizards
Captain D's "The Big Crunch"
"And Your Bird Can Sing" by the Fabs
The Allman Brothers Band
Ben Folds rendition of "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head" from the City Market Show, in the pouring rain on August 13
Video Game Ratings
Madden 2006
XBOX 360
"Tales of the Otori" by Lian Hearn
Mad Eye Moody
Tailgating
Rachel McAdams
Isla Fisher
Talladega Nights
John Munson
Matt Wilson
Jake Slichter
Dan Wilson
Elaine Harris
Murphy
T-shirts with "Dysentery" in the headline

Truth in Advertising

2005-08-11T09:14:00.000-05:00

Guess they didn't have the backwards "R"
Originally uploaded by Tug.

Well, at least you know what comes inside the box.

In LA, where else?

For Worse, Definetly For Worse

2005-08-10T08:30:00.000-05:00

For Worse, Definetly For Worse
Originally uploaded by Tug.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the comics, our friends at "For Better Or Worse" are back at it. Worse yet, so are our friends at "Funky Winkerbean," "Mark Trail," and "Brenda Starr."

Here are the storylines in descending order. And I do mean descending.

FBOW - Elizabeth has a stalker. (And he's stealing my BEST pick up lines! Bastard!"
Funky – Wally has stepped on a landmine in Af-ghan-i-stan. I'm wracked with laughter! (I'd be more worried about coyotes, Wally.)
Mark Trail – The wife of an business exec has decided to murder her husband's boss on camping trip. Fuh-nee! (Talk about upward mobility.)
Brenda Starr – Brenda is buried alive. Ha-ha-ha, oh ... (Yikes.)

As my friend Peter commented yesterday, what's next, beastiality on "Get Fuzzy"?

Jerry Garcia: 8/1/42 - 8/9/95

2005-08-09T11:34:00.000-05:00

Remembering Jerry
Originally uploaded by Tug.

I could write something about Jerry, but I'll let his dear friend, muse and partner Robert Hunter do it for me. We still miss you Jerry.

Brokedown Palace (Lyrics: Robert Hunter, Music: Jerry Garcia)

Fare you well, my honey
Fare you well, my only true one
All the birds that were singing
Are flown, except you alone

Gonna leave this brokedown palace
On my hands and my knees, I will roll, roll, roll
Make myself a bed by the waterside
In my time, in my time, I will roll, roll, roll

In a bed, in a bed
By the waterside I will lay my head
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

River gonna take me, sing me sweet and sleepy
Sing me sweet and sleepy all the way back home
It's a far gone lullaby sung many years ago
Mama, Mama, many worlds I've come since I first left home

Going home, going home
By the waterside I will rest my bones
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Going to plant a weeping willow
On the bank's green edge it will grow, grow, grow
Singing a lullaby beside the water
Lovers come and go, the river will roll, roll, roll

Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

To see what other Heads have to say,check this out.

Are we really this stupid?

2005-08-01T14:48:00.000-05:00

Idiots. Clearly.
Originally uploaded by Tug.

I guess we are, because I have seen this very sign at Quizno's, where this pic was taken, at Chipotle and at Q'doba. So, appealing to logic, I have to say that enough people have tossed their baskets into the basket that the management of the aforementioned restaurants felt it necessary to ask people to remember that the hard plastic baskets are not trash.

This is how dumb we are, I guess. And when you add these instructions to the other kinds of instructions we routinely see -- Coffee is served HOT!, Don't put your hand in the path of a running lawnmower blade etc -- I guess we really are stupid.

Or just careless. Maybe we're just careless. Maybe we didn't try to put our hand on the running blade, just near it. You know, so that we could dislodge that stick that we carelessly ran over that is now stuck between the blade and the mower deck.

I don't know man. But that sign struck me today. I mean, I've never tossed a basket at Quizno's or Chipotle, and I sincerely hope I'm not a big a moron as some of my brethren appear to be. But then again, I keep posting thoughts here on this blog that almost nobody reads. So I'm left to wonder:

If a blog posts on the web and nobody is there to read it, did it make a sound?

Mark it, Dude ...

2005-07-28T12:36:00.000-05:00

Having a pretty good day today. Against all odds (Phil Collins) and for no reason whatsoever, I'm letting it all pass through me. Just thought you oughta know (Alanis Morissette).

Careening Toward the Apocalypse, Part II - T-Ball

2005-07-18T10:41:00.000-05:00

I honestly do not know what to say.

PITTSBURGH -- A T-ball coach allegedly paid one of his players $25 to hurt an 8-year-old mentally disabled teammate so he wouldn't have to put the boy in the game, police said Friday.

Mark R. Downs Jr., 27, of Dunbar, is accused of offering one of his players the money to hit the boy in the head with a baseball, police said. Witnesses told police Downs didn't want the boy to play in the game because of his disability.

Police said the boy was hit in the head and in the groin with a baseball just before a game and did not play.

"The coach was very competitive," state police trooper Thomas B. Broadwater said. "He wanted to win."

Downs has an unpublished telephone number and could not immediately be reached for comment Friday. It was unclear whether he had an attorney.

He was arrested and arraigned Friday on charges including criminal solicitation to commit aggravated assault and corruption of minors. He was released from jail on an unsecured bond.

The alleged assault happened June 27 in North Union Township, about 40 miles southeast of Pittsburgh, authorities said.

The boy's mother asked state police to investigate her son's injuries because she suspected Downs wanted to keep the boy off the field, despite a league rule that required each player to participate in three innings a game, Broadwater said.

Eric Forsythe, the president of the R.W. Clark Youth Baseball League, said Downs had two daughters on the T-ball team.

League organizers investigated accusations against Downs before the T-ball season ended earlier this month but could not prove that he did anything wrong. If Downs is convicted of any crime, he won't be allowed to be a coach next year, Forsythe said. The league is not affiliated with Little League International.

Battery Failure

2005-07-11T14:46:00.000-05:00

When I got back from Colorado on Saturday, there was a stack of mail a mile high. Most of it was junk, but there were a couple of meaningful pieces in there. One of which was a notification that I could qualify for something free from Apple. It seems that the Third Generation iPods (3G from here on out) have a shitty battery. Now, I could have told them that a long time ago, but fortunately for me, there are some folks out there who are a lot more litigious than I am and took it to the man.

So, right now, I'm following the prescribed "Battery Failure" test that they outlined in the paperwork they sent me. And, much like the average IT person's first line of defense against a computer that won't work -- turning it off and then back on again -- all Apple really has you do is charge up your battery, push play and then wait until it conks out. For the 3G iPod, if it conks out in four hours or less, bam! I get $50 bucks from Apple or a new iPod. (They actually mean refurbished, bastards.) The problem is that there are all these disclaimers on how, when and where you can use the $50 store credit. No iTunes music, no small items since you get no change. Luckily we have an Apple Store here in town. Maybe I'll buy a really bloddy video game and then make a stink about it to the media when it rots my brain.

Anyway, so far, the Allman Brothers song, "Ain't Wastin' Time No More" has been repeatedly playing for 26:47. As I write this, I realize how apropros that song is, as I actually am wasting time. And I wasn't trying to be ironic either, my first play list is Allman Brothers and the first song starts with A. Funny how that shit works sometimes.

I think I'm gonna have a case, though. After just 31:38 of battery action, I'm already down a bar.

Drain baby, drain!

Everything I Hoped It Could Be

2005-06-20T23:25:00.000-05:00

Brad, Tug and Chris bask in the Jam.
Originally uploaded by Tug.

I spent the weekend basking in the sunny, cloudless skies of Lawrence, Kansas at the Wakarusa Music and Camping Festival.

That's right, kids. A big, fat, long jam laden, hippie music fest.

It was bliss.

First (and best) I got to hang the whole weekend with my two younger brothers, Brad and Chris, a feat that in our busy adult lives is harder than I ever thought it would be.

Second, I got to indoctrinate two of my close friends Rob and JJ into the fray. They passed with flying colors and sometime during Mofro's set on Saturday, JJ -- who never really got what I liked about the jam scene -- looked at me and simply said, "I get it."

And Rob, well, old hard rock guy Rob got two killer bands --Gov't Mule and Rosehill Drive and two killer old school rock covers. Mule did Zep's "No Quarter" and Rosehill took on Sabbath's "Faeries in Boots." You're not gonna hear either of those songs at a Matchbox 20 show, kids.

All in all, it was the music that brought us together and we got the sun and the beers and the camping as ancillary gifts. It was me, Rob, JJ, Brad, Chris and Kristy -- and approximately 50,000 people who spent an entire weekend sharing the groove.

And, in my life, at 35, I'd rather have someone to share the groove with than to listen to my iPod all by myself.

Tug's Waka 5:
1. Gov't Mule -- 2 1/2 hour set of face-melting blues rock. Thanks Warren.

2. MOFRO -- Florida swamp (whatever that is) that took us all up a tree, threw rocks at us for a hour and then helped us down and gave us a pull off their whiskey bottle.

3. North Mississippi All-Stars -- I heard their record a few years ago and wasn't down. After this, I am. Go see live music, people. All the time.

4. Moonshine Still -- Thought they were acoustic bluegrass. Was I wrong. That 9-minute "Bullet the Blue Sky" was shocking. So much so that I bought the CD of the set right after the show.

5. Rosehill Drive -- a trio of early 20s lads that were the toast of the festival. For very good reason. They have a hard-rocking sound that brings 70s era Rush to mind. They're the ones that covered Sabbath.

Honorable Mention -- Particle. A ton of energy in their instrumental jams. And Axel F? Who would have ever thought someone would cover Harold Faltermeyer's Axel F?

Approximately 360 days till next year's fest. Wonder when tickets go on sale?

Today I feel sorry for Brad Pitt.

2005-06-08T07:50:00.000-05:00

Today I feel sorry for Brad Pitt.
Originally uploaded by Tug.

Rest of the story on the next photo.

Here's why.

2005-06-08T07:49:00.000-05:00

Here's why.
Originally uploaded by Tug.

Saw yet another post Jennifer interview with the Pittster last night -- part of it anyway -- and the old cliche that money can't buy you happiness has never struck a truer chord with me. Even though, by most people's accounts, Brad has EVERYTHING, all he wants is what he doesn't have. All this guy wants is kids. There's a hole in his life. He's missing something guys, he's missing something big. You know it and I know it. And guess what, he knows it, too. So even if we don't have the hot cars, the hot mansions and the hot chicks, according to the man himself, we are all better -- much better -- off than he is.

For even though Brad Pitt is the guy who has it all, he has absolutely nothing at exactly the same time.

And that's why, today, I feel sorry for Brad Pitt.

(Just look at those two boys of mine, I could eat them both up like a steak.)

Water AND Sand, Daddy

2005-06-03T09:26:00.000-05:00

Water AND Sand, Daddy
Originally uploaded by Tug.

My wife Sarah and our two boys are in Colorado this week with her folks and her best friend, Paula. Sarah sent me this picture of Sean and Paula from her phone. They are at the Great Sand Dunes National Monument in Southern Colorado.

There is so much beauty in the world, and I'm glad I have discovered Colorado. Damn glad.

Here's some info about the dunes:

Make sure you don't break your coxyxx.

Great Sand Dunes National Monument – There is plenty of sandy desert in Arizona and California, but nothing quite like the Great Sand Dunes of Colorado. Seeming totally out of place at the edge of the snow-covered Rocky Mountains, these dunes of pure golden sand cover an area about 7 by 5 miles and reach heights of 700 feet above the floor of the flat San Luis Valley, making them the tallest in the US. The valley, which is over 7,500 feet in elevation at this point, extends for over 100 miles south into New Mexico and is bordered by the San Juan Mountains to the west and the lower Sangre de Cristo range to the east - these hills mark the edge of the Rockies and continue southwards towards Santa Fe. The Valley is also notable for having some of the longest stretches of straight road in the US, including a 35 mile section of CO 285 between Monte Vista and Saguache.

Snap-Back: The Musical Baton Continues

2005-05-26T15:54:00.000-05:00

My buddy Seth sent me this and I am now, in a very chain-letteresque way, responding. It's called the musical baton. You can check out his answers at his blog, and you can see my answers below.

Total volume of music files on my computer:
4334 songs, 13:08:16:25 total time, 21.94 GB (iTunes)

Last CD I bought was...
Bruce Springsteen, "Devils and Dust" and Ben Folds, "Songs For Silverman" -- both actual CDs.
Phish - Live, 11/30/94 - Olympia, Washington -- downloaded from livephish.com

The Boss is slowly but surely turning into Dylan and I like it. The title track on this record is pure "Darkness on the Edge of Town" Bruce. Yearning, lamenting and failing. But this time, it's about the war on terror.

Ben Folds continues to slay me. AFter the 3rd listen, this record infects you. "Trusted" is especially tasty.

To me, Phish = Summer. This show is from an amazing run of live shows that occurred during 94-95. There is a 13:25 minute version of "Fly Famous Mockingbird" that includes the "Vibration of Life." If you don't know what that means, listen to it and you will.

Song playing right now:
"Run Like an Antelope" by Phish (from the aforementioned 11/30/94 show.)

The only lyrics to this 10-minute, mostly instrumental jam are thus:
"Set the gearshift for the high gear of your soul/you've got to run like an antelope, out of control."
Told you it was summer to me.

Five songs I listen to a lot these days:

"Hello Caller" by Matt Wilson (formerly of Trip Shakespeare)
"All You Need is Love" by the Fabs
"Pigeons" by Widespread Panic
"Life is White" by Big Star
"Jesus, etc." by Wilco

What do I love about music?
Well, for starters, everything. (Cameron Crowe wrote that and Russell from Stillwater said it. Just so you know.)

The Wild Rumpus

2005-05-25T08:52:00.000-05:00

The night Max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind, and another, his mother called him "WILD THING!" and Max said, "I'LL EAT YOU UP!" so he was sent to bed without eating anything.

That very night in Max's room a forest grew and grew – and grew until his ceiling hung with vines and the walls became the world all around and an ocean tumbled by with a private boat for Max and he sailed off through night and day and in and out of weeks and almost over a year to where the wild things are.

And when he came to the place where the wild things are they roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws till Max said, "BE STILL!" and tamed them with the magic trick of starinng into all their yellow eyes without blinking once and they were frightened and called him the most wild thing of all and made him king of all wild things.

"And now," cried Max, "let the wild rumpus start!"

"Now stop," Max said and sent the wild things off to bed without their supper. And Max the king of all wild things was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all. Then all around from far away across the world he smelled good things to eat so he gave up being king of where the wild things are.

But the wild things cried, "Oh please don't go – we'll eat you up we love you so! And Max said, "No!"

The wild things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws but Max stepped into his private boat and waved good-bye and sailed back over a year and in and out of weeks and through a day and into the night of his very own room where he found his supper waiting for him.

And it was still hot.

Here's to hoping you always keep a little bit of wild thing (and a little wild rumpus) in your life.

Have a swell Memorial Day.

Attention, both of you: It's a fucking movie.

2005-05-24T09:38:00.000-05:00

Here are a couple of people borrowing the interest from Star Wars for their own, very different, religious needs.
Take a quick look at both and decide whose service you would rather attend: The "Jesus is all around us, even in Star Wars" folks or the "watch Star Wars and you go to hell, you filthy heathen." Look just below the photo of the happy Presbyterians and download the Gospel According to Star Wars PDF or simply click here to go to hell.

Tug List for May, 2005

2005-05-24T08:11:00.000-05:00

Noted without commentary:

Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
"Prince Caspian" by Phish
The Chronicles of Narnia
"My Losing Season, by Pat Conroy
Cheesy Potatoes
Sean
Nick
Playstation 3
Fasting Bloodwork
The 'Rado
Tishamingo
The Wakarusa Music Festical
Bo Bice
The Weezer article in the current Rolling Stone
Ben Folds
Eminem's new video with the Crank Yankers puppets
Russell Bates' George Bush's Speechwriter short film
Powerball
The evil numbers from Lost
75 degree days, 55 degree nights
The Kansas City Royals
The Cashew
Memorial Day
Veterans
Pat Tillman
The Marquette Warriors
Size 34 pants

Sith Notes

2005-05-20T10:26:00.000-05:00

This is my personal review of the final installment of the Star Wars 6-ology, "The Revenge of the Sith." The following rewiew is spoiler-laden, so if you are still trying to be spoiler-free, DO NOT PROCEED.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! SPOILERS AHEAD! DO NOT PROCEED UNLESS YOU HAVE SEEN MOVIE OR DON'T CARE!

This is all very personal to me as you may or may not know from reading my previous post. So, I went into "Revenge of the Sith" with a couple of definite things I was looking for, and quite frankly, some definitive needs from the movie.

Here they are:

1. I needed about 10 – 15 loose ends tied up.
2. I needed Anakin to really have a watershed event that turned him to the Dark Side.
3. Ineeded to realize why Darth Sidious looks like he does vs. how we see him as Palpatine.
4. I needed to learn why some Jedi simply die while others are able to come back as Force ghosts.
5. I needed to learn who Anakin’s father is.
6. I needed to cry.

Here’s how Lucas did.

1. He damn near tied up all the loose ends I was worried about. We found out why Anakin turns, we saw Obi-Wan pick up his lightsaber so that he can give it to Luke in 20 years, we saw Leia and Luke being born, we saw the power of the Emperor, we learned why some Jedi can come back and others can’t. We also found out who figured it all out.

I give Lucas an A on this.

2. While, to him, Anakin seemed to have a huge event (the death visions of Padme), it sure seemed sudden that he turns on Mace and helps the Emperor to kill him. I realize that the Emperor had been poking that wound with a stick the whole movie, so I get that. I also understand that Anakin has been teetering on the brink of the Dark Side for about 20 years – so I can live with it. It could have been better and more tragic though.

I give Lucas a C on this.

3. I LOVED how the Mace “Jules” Windu was deflecting the Sith Lightning back into the Emperor and it burned, scarred and deformed his face. I also liked how Palpatine used that in the Senate to further condemn the Jedi.

This is an A+.

4. I LOVED the way that Yoda tells Obi-Wan that his old master has learned how to become immortal. I LOVE that Qui-Gon has been studying the ways of the Force from beyond the grave. This was a very creative way to finally sell Anakin's immaculate conception. If you go to supershadow.com and download the script, there is a scene where Yoda submits to become Qui-Gon’s padawan. This was a great scene I hope is on the DVD.

Concept: A, the fact that Lucas glossed over it in about two seconds: C.

5. I was floored by the description of Darth Plagueis and his ability to manipulate the Force to create life. There is a whole Frankenstein thing going in this time around, and it is further illustrated when Vader stands up off the table. (I half-expected the Emperor to shout, “It’s alive! It’s alive!” I really liked this notion and further enjoyed that fact that we are led to believe that Plagueis was Sidious’s master until Sidous cut him down.

This gets an A.

6. When that Youngling goes out to Anakin in the Jedi Temple asking for help and Anakin turns on his lightsaber, I teared up. I could not believe he could slaughter them like that. And I will admit, when Luke and Leia were born, I teared up again. I also nearly full-on cried when the crippled Anakin tells Obi-Wan he hates him and Obi-Wan replies, “I loved you.”

Solid B on the crying.

So, all in all, it was a solid B for me. It tied up loose ends, it had incredible space and lightsaber duels and we got to learn about the Jedi ghosts and saw the awesome power of Darth Vader.

And for me, that’s enough.

APPENDIX: I would like everyone to stop comparing these three films to the original Star Wars movies. First of all, we are all simmply carrying way too much baggage to look at all this objectively. I don't know about you, but I'm a whole lot different at 35 than I was at 7. (I suspect you are too.) I think everyone was hoping the new trilogy would recapture some of those old feelings we had when we were kids. It can't you guys. It just cant. Compare these films only to each other and you will utterly agree that "Sith" is the one we've been waiting for.

From here to Courscant and back again.

2005-05-16T20:54:00.000-05:00

SW III: ROTS
Originally uploaded by Tug.

Well, we're just about 24 hours away from the wide release of "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith" and I decided that it's high time to tell you what I am feeling about all this.

For those of you who know me well, you are fully aware that I am a self-professed Star Wars nut. From the day I so, so innocently wandered into the Glenwood Thetre at 91st and Metcalf in Overland Park, Kansas to today, I have been absolutely Star Wars crazy. (Some would say obsessed, but other than dressing up as a Jawa for Halloween in 1978, I have never again put on a Star Wars costume. And, frankly, costumes are where I draw the Mendoza line between fan and fanatic.)

But I digress.

The reason I'm here today is to state something many of you will not believe. So, without further ado, here it is:

I don't care if Episode III stinks.

Just as I didn't care that Episode II kinda stunk, and Episode I totally did; I just do not care if Ep III is a total stink-bomb. Know why? 'Cause I love Star Wars too much to hate it.

It doesn't matter how bad the acting and writing is (often terrible, occasionally cringe-worthy). It doesn't matter that Obi-Wan told Luke Yoda trained him, making absolutely no mention of Qui-Gon. It doesn't matter that Jar Jar was annoying. It doesn't matter that George Lucas stripped in the Young Anakin at the end of Jedi.

As Bill Murray said so eloquently in Meatballs, "It just doesn't matter if we win or lose because the guys over at Camp Winnekwakwa have all the money and will still get all the girls. It just doesn't matter."

It just doesn't matter how good or bad this episode is. (Some people -- mainly angry fanboys -- still hate it. Others -- USA Today and NY Times -- are proclaiming it as either the best of the bunch, that's right, the WHOLE bunch, or at least equal to Empire. That's a big deal, Gungans. A really big deal.

But like I said, it just doesn't matter whether it's bad or good because it's still Star Wars. And frankly, Star Wars taught me a lot about the world, myself and life.

1. It taught me that there IS a galaxy far, far away. It taught me that somewhere, outside of my own head, backyard and sphere of influence, there exist wonderous worlds, magical forces and frightening (and breathtaking) creatures. It taught me to look to the stars, but not at the expense of "Where I was, what I was doing." Thank you Master Yoda. Back in '77, I started becoming a Jedi.

2. It taught me that great battles are being waged out there, even if I can't see them. Everywhere in the world, the battle between the Light and the Dark side is on, man. It's on like crazy. And if you don't think that leaders/warlords like Supreme Chancellor Palpatine/Darth Sidious actually exist, well then you haven't a clue about the governments of places like the former Yugoslavia, the Congo and Iraq. Star Wars is in the news everyday, people. Especially here in 2K5.

3. It taught me that doing what is right isn't easy, but it is always right. That Dark side isn't stronger, it's just easier, quicker, more seductive. Search your feelings, you know it be true. And, like the Jedi, you're probably teaching it every day to your own Padawans. Good for you.

4. It taught me that if you follow your heart, you'll win out in the end. Sometimes that means a you make a lot of money, sometimes that means you get a great wife and two beautiful kids. Sometimes it means both. No matter who you are or what you do, you have a chance, every day, to save the Princess, to escape from the Death Star and to save the galaxy. So follow your heart and take your shot. If you don't you'll regret it. (I know this from experience.)

5. It taught me that I have a choice, and that I choose to be a Jedi. The Jedi use the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack. The Jedi protect peace, they use reason, they use compassion. Again, if you've got Padawans of your own, they (and you) can learn a lot from the Jedi.

Yep, today I'm glad I live in a world with Star Wars. And tomorrow I'll be glad. And the next day and the next too.

And if your wondering whether this last film will restore the George Lucas legacy or will knock the final peg out from beneath it, I have just one final thing to say:

It doesn't matter.

Because Star Wars, those crazy Star Wars (thanks again Bill Murray), are here and they are never, never going away. At least for me.

The Force will be with you. Always. (See, even the dead Sir Alec Guinness agrees with me.)

Panic in the Zoo

2005-05-09T16:23:00.000-05:00

Last week I went to see Widespread Panic with my brothers. I was blown away by their groove, their vibe and their energy. If you want to catch a good old-fashioned rock 'n roll show this summer, Panic is a good bet. They are constantly on tour and you can catch them pretty much no matter where you live in the U.S. of A. Go to their official site e to get the tour dates. There is also a really good fan site called Everday Companion that is really easy to use.

Like most other jam bands, every version of every song is different, and no show is ever the same as the last one. Here is the setlist of the show I saw.

05/03/05 - Starlight Amphitheatre - Kansas City, MO

1: Little Kin > Jack, Viper Jive, Can't Get High, May Your Glass Be Filled, Disco, Wondering > Send Your Mind, Greta > Knocking 'Round The Zoo

2: Chainsaw City, Surprise Alley > Blight > You Should Be Glad > Use Me > Porch Song, Papa's Home > Arleen >Drums > Papa's Home > Big Wooly Mammoth > Chilly Water

Encore: This Part Of Town, Postcard

As is also the custom with most jam bands, anyone that has a recording rig can tape the show and distribute it to whomever wants it. For free. So, I will be listening to it shortly.

My favorite moment was a soaring version of "Wondering." George McConnell's guitar spontaneously combusted for about 10 minutes.

God bless the jam.

Dear Pam

2005-04-27T10:10:00.000-05:00

Dear Pam
Originally uploaded by Tug.

Just stop with the politicizing, stop the bad TV sitcom acting, stop the divorcing and remarrying of Tommy Lee and do the one thing you were put on this planet to do:

Show us your tits.

Seriously.

Less talking. More tit showing.
Less PETA supporting. More underwire supporting.
Less "acting." More acting like a chick with huge tits.

More tits. More often. More tits.

Thank tits. I mean tits. I mean you. I mean thank you.

For your tits.

Tits.

Careening Toward The Apocalypse. A freezerful at a time.

2005-04-26T15:59:00.000-05:00

Hungry? I'm not.

Man tells police dead mother kept in freezer for years

Know how you get a witch pregnant?

2005-04-26T15:56:00.000-05:00

You fuck her.

Tug List for April, 2005

2005-04-13T14:05:00.000-05:00

Noted without commentary:

Ben Folds
Mickey Rourke
"Stash" by Phish (from "A Live One")
"The Office" American Version
Nashville Star
Crest Whitestrips
gorillamask.net
gawker.com
defamer.com
Hispanic Marketing
Star Wars Episode III
Playstation Portable
Shure EC3 Noise-cancelling headphones
The New Mustang
Bowling
MLS Season 10
Kickball for adults
otisproductions.com/blog
The Solar System
American History

Blink One-Eighty-who?

2005-04-06T21:27:00.000-05:00

Are you fucking kidding me?

Seriously.

I was flipping through the channels and landed on a new familial reality show on MTV.

Ozzy and the Hooligans? No.
The Continuing Adventures of Dumb-Ass and Dumber-Ass?
(Read: Newlyweds: The Jessica & Nick Simpson Show)? No.
Me sitting around in my underwear wearing a bowler hat and smoking huge, Fidel Castroesque heaters? No.

The stupid drummer from Blink-182 (according to the promos, his name is Travis Barker -- hey, don't ask me) has his own show that follows him and his trophy wife as they plan their wedding.

P.S. Not really that much of a trophy. To be perfectly honest, judging by the fact that she appears to have two kids by two different dads (one of them Travis) and -- as I said -- is currently planning her wedding with him, she appears to be bit of a slut-whore.

Now, I ask you this without a bit of irony: Is not Armageddon surely upon us.

Hold it right here. I am about to vomit on my pants and then wring out the puke into any one of my face-holes.

Why? Guess what followed this monstrossi-fucking-ty? "Trippin'" a.k.a. The Cameron Diaz travel show.

Apparently, Cam and her friends travel around (the world, I reckon) with a camera crew and not nearly enough Percoset™ for me to watch and realize why I have not killed myself yet.

Suddenly, my brother-in-law switches over to E! Entertainment Television. Guess what's on? Gastineau Girls!

Who? The ex-wife of former NY Jet Mark Gastineau and his spoiled brat of a daughter?

Please God, kill me now or put me into some sort of vegetative state I don't have nearly enough legal paperwork for.

Welcome ...

2005-03-25T08:50:00.000-06:00

to Jurassic Park!

MSNBC - Scientists recover T. rex soft tissue

Frank Miller's Sin City

2005-03-24T09:48:00.000-06:00

Now, I don't know how many of you have ever read the comic book SIN CITY, or have heard of Frank Miller, its creator.

And frankly, I don't care.

What I do care about, however, is the fact that the film based on the series of Sin City comics is releasing wide on April 1. That's next week to those of you still using the Mayan calendar. And I really think you ought to go see it.

First of all, you hve to like the source material. I happen to have a copy of the graphic novel --

INSERT SIDEBAR HERE

CROTCHETY OLD MARKETING BIG WIG AT DC/MARVEL COMICS:
Jesus Christ! Only 10-year olds are buying our comic books! We're going under! We're going under! It's over!

NEWBIE MARKETING DEPARTMENT GUY:
What should we do? Create adult-themed stories and pair them with quality art to attract more mature readers?

CROTCHETY OLD MARKETING BIG WIG AT DC/MARVEL COMICS:
Are you crazy? That'll never work.

NEWBIE MARKETING DEPARTMENT GUY:
I guess we could just call them "graphic novels" to trick them into thinking we're giving adult-themed stories and quality art.

CROTCHETY OLD MARKETING BIG WIG AT DC/MARVEL COMICS:
Graphic novels? Well, son. That's just crazy enough to work.

SIDEBAR END

I say, I happen to have a copy of the graphic novel that comprises one-third of the intertwined storyline of Sin City. It's called "That Yellow Bastard." Allow me to quote a passage, without explanation, without any set-up other than, in Sin City, the good guys aren't always good and neither are the bad guys. Everybody gets what they deserve. Usually near the end.

"Weeks slide into months until time has no meaning, none at all. The dull gray haze of post-surgery anesthesia gives way to the even more deadening process of legal this and legal that, of procedure after tired procedure, a dumb drama with an ending everybody knows before it even starts. I'm interrogated and accused and spat on and slapped around and indicted for a crime I didn't commit. I'm way past outrage, way past sweating and fretting, way past giving a damn. All this is nothing but a price I promised myself I'd pay and I'm paying it. You don't save a little girl's life, the turn around and throw her to the dogs. Not in my book, you don't. God knows why I didn't die like I should've. Back there on that rotten, blood-soaked dock where I rescued skinny little Nancy Callahan from that pervo son of a senator -- where my partner filled me with six Magnum slugs and nailed together the first few pieces of the frame they've stuck me in. Yeah, I should've died back there on that dock. I should've died and I wish I had, to the extent that I wish for anything. Past worrying. Past giving a damn. It's like it's all happening to somebody else. The wed sounds of impact stop. My head rolls around on my shoulders. My mouth coughs out a wad of blood. All on their own, without me askinng them to, my lungs expand, sucking in dusty, hot air, rusty old factory air. Detective Liebowitz gives with triombone-deep beer belch and chuckles. He's getting angry."

In Sin City, Frank Miller has created no heroes with capes, only people who, in their zeal to do what they believe is the right thing, often end up on the wrong side of a gun. Or a samurai sword. Or Nazi-shaped throwing star. Or teeth. Miller writes incredible words, draws amazing images and the whole thing resonates in a way few other comics ever have.

Then there's Robert Rodriguez. Yes, the Robert Rodriguez of Spy Kids. Remember though, before Spy Kids made him a millionaire, he was El Mariachi, and Desperado and Once Upon a Time In Mexico. ANd now, he's Robert Rodriguez of Sin City.
What he has done, mainly on a green screen (sorry Russell) is create the world of Sin City, exactly as it is rendered in the pages of the comics, right down to the steam escaping the manhole covers. It looks incredible. View the trailer here.

Not only has RR vowed to faithfully "translate" Sin City to the big screen, he even dropped out of the DGA so that he could bring Frank Miller in as co-director. Hmmm.

I'm telling you now, if you like Pulp Fiction or Reservoir Dogs, or even the Dirty Harry pictures, or even if you only remember Frank Miller from "The Dark Knight Returns," his seminal 1986 graphic novel series that brought Batman back to life, give Sin City a chance. The source material is incredibly good and the look of the film -- at least for me -- seems perfect.

See you there on April 1.

Graphics department -- You're fired!

2005-03-23T11:48:00.000-06:00

No it's not a cross-network promotional stunt between ABC's "The Apprentice" and Fox's "American Idol." No, it's simply the truth of the matter. Apparently, somebody at Fox ran the wrong telephone numbers on the screen below last night's Idol contestants.

Yikes.

This means that some of you voted for the wrong people last night, and the mediocre new heartthrobs you wanted to stay may, or may not be the ones you wanted to boot off. Get it?

Either way, it's a huge (Prounounce it whtout the "H", like "Yuge!" That makes it bigger!) prob for the network.

Rumors are they are rebroadcasting the same show tonight with the correct numbers.

Man, am I glad I'm not the guy that keyed that stuff in last night.

Of course, Defamer is much better at this than me. They actually know the contestants' names.

P.S. I like one of the rockers. Not sure which one, though. And the girl who sings country, but not last night, she sang Heart.

Funky Winkerbean Pt. 4

2005-03-10T09:15:00.000-06:00

Funky Winkerbean â€“ Pt. 3
Originally uploaded by Tug.

Thank God the ShellShockStoryline is over!

What hilarity will ensue now?

The Comic Shop Owner selling porn?

Oh my God, I am falling over.

More later.

Comic porn! What a fucking riot.

Tom, you are too much! Too much!
Stop it. Seriously.
Funny.

Funky Winkerbean Pt. 3

2005-03-10T09:12:00.000-06:00

Funky Winkerbean - Pt. 3
Originally uploaded by Tug.

So they hook him up with a Vietnam vet. You know, to share shell-shock stories.

Hi-lar-ious!

What will be the next comedic treasure chest you unearth, Tom?

Mass genocide? Ethnic cleansing?

Hey, how about the Iraqui Insurgents?

Har-dee-Har-Har!

Funky Winkerbean Pt. 2

2005-03-10T09:00:00.000-06:00

Funky Winkerbean â Pt. 2
Originally uploaded by Tug.

After he struggles home, he falls into the loving arms ...

oh wait, the loving ARM of his fiance.

His one-armed fiance who lost a limb in an earlier storyline.

Still, not funny, Tom. Honestly.

Funky Winkerbean Pt. 1

2005-03-10T08:59:00.000-06:00

Funky Winkerbean - Pt. 1
Originally uploaded by Tug.

OK, Tom Batiuk, it's supposed to be funny. Funny like Les and Lisa have a mishap with the baby. Or the Crazy Postman goes to the Star Wars Convention. I'd even take the Band Director selling turkeys. Something. Anything.
But, you know, funny.

Giggle funny. Slap a knee funny. Snicker funny.
A helicopter crash, Tom? Not fucking funny.

Weather War 2K5: Doppler This!

2005-03-07T16:13:00.000-06:00

The Embattled Lands
Originally uploaded by Tug.

In a battle that has raged for like, eight rounds of quarterly Arbitron Ratings Cycles, Mike Thompson of Kansas City's WDAF TV4, has lashed out brutally at his former protoge/colleague/co-worker/weather geek/slightly effeminate KSHB-TV Head Weather predictio, Gary Lezak. In this morning's column, Hearne Christopher, Kansas City Star's resident gossip king reported that the war of words had reached an unprecedented level. You could read the story if the freaking KC Star didn't make you pay for it. Rest assured: They's was some fighting words. First they argued about who's more right, more of the time; then they took pot-shots at each other, then Lezak (Or Sleestack, as my wife and I call him) challenged Thompson to some sort of a Meteorological Showdown. Which left me wondering: Just what are they going to do? See who can read the radar screen the fastest? Compete in some strangely sad green-screen weather map click-off? Simply stand on a street corner shouting: "I told you it was gonna be like this?"

Seriously, The War of the One Ring it ain't.

I have lived in Kansas City most of my life and the sad truth is this: In this town, like most of the Midwest, there is no friggin' way to predict the weather. Just the other day it went from sunny and 60 to rainy, 40 and lightning in the space of 30 minutes. Then, back to 60 and sunny.

I say they either shut up or Indian Leg Wrestle -- all oiled up and nude -- right on the air. I predict huge ratings. Oh, and that spring is coming.

National Institutes of Health New Finding: Teens are Morons

2005-03-01T10:22:00.000-06:00

A story in this morning's USA Today states that the National Institutes of Health have at long last confirmed what pretty much every adult in the world has known for 5000 or so years: Teenagers are complete and utter jackasses. The findings are fairly simple: Teens are just too busy playing a 24-7 game of grabass to be trusted behind the wheel.

Upcoming study: Is it possible for 15-year old boys to jerk off 10 times a day? One Akron, Ohio teen stuns medical panel.

I like Hot Dogs

2005-02-24T10:53:00.000-06:00

I also like Will Ferrell's impression of Harry Caray. I like it so much that I have become somewhat profecient at copying it.
Did you get that: It's me, doing Will Ferrell, doing Harry Caray.

I also like Lost. I think it's one of the best shows on television right now. It never disappoints.

I also like Netflix. I live in KC, and they have a big clearinghouse here. Man, I drop a DVD in the mail and I get my new one in two days. Blockbuster is dead to me. Dead I say!

I also like the movie "The Last Samurai." I just saw it last week (Thanks Netflix!) As a fan of Star Wars, I became a fan of Akira Kurosawa's films (the big basis for Star Wars) and I have developed a love of the whole Samurai/Bushido thing. I've been reading about it lately, very cool.

I also like a new thing my friend John January and I have started doing. It's a Podcast. For info on what the hell a Podcast is, go to iPodder.org : and you can learn all about it. For our Podcast, you can check out our American Copywriter web page. We think it's decent, check it out for yourself.

I also like writing this blog.

And cheese.

And Ren & Stimpy.

Now log off, you bloated sack of protoplasm.

American Idoloscopy

2005-02-16T09:29:00.000-06:00

Idolatry? I think so.
Originally uploaded by Tug.

OK. I'm going to cop to being a closet American Idol fan. I cannot help myself. Watching this seemingly endless parade of talentless morons parading themselves -- on national TV, mind you -- before Paula, Randy, Simon, God and the World is true TrainWreck Television™.
I mean, some of these bozos that got cut last night couldn't carry a tune if they had eight hands and a couple of wheelbarrows. Seriously. Why do they feel the need to subject themselves to this self-esteem destroying process?

Simple: They want money.

Oh, sure, they can boast and brag about how "if they're not able to express themselves through music, they'd rather die" and all that blah-blah-bliggity-blah, but the bottom line is this: They want to be famous.

Oh yeah, and rich.

I'll be honest, I can sing a little bit and play guitar a little bit, but man, I have no delusions of grandeur. And certainly not enough sheer balls to get up on a stage in front of millions of people and look like a complete jackass.

I mean, I do that everyday, but it doesn't get broadcast.

So, rest assured, FOX-TV, I'll be watching the talentless flacks.

Oh, I'll be watching.

The Eyes Have It. (But what if they don't?)

2005-02-03T09:13:00.000-06:00

peds eye chart
Originally uploaded by Tug.

If you have children I would like to implore you:

GET THEIR EYES CHECKED.

McTighe Haüs has recently been dealing with the discovery that our 3-year old son, Sean, is severly farsighted. That means he has trouble focusing on things up close. Like coloring, and reading, and tracing/writing. The only reason we knew there might be a problem with his eyesight was because his right eye was starting to turn in a little. This was our only indicator. Ånd, Sean's eye doctor said we were lucky he was exhibiting that outward symptom. Some kids go seven or eight years before their parents -- or more likely -- their teachers realize they can't read very well.

Scratch that: Not "can't read very well" and replace it with "can't see very well."

So, last week Sean had to get glasses and today, we just started patching the stronger eye to strengthen the weaker eye. That means we cover the strong eye with a little adhesive patch (we put superhero stickers on it) so that the weaker eye has to bust ass and get buff. Sean doesn't like it one bit, but he hasn't tried to take it off. Yet.

His doctor says that we should experience significant increases in the strength of both of his eyes and that his prescription will go down over time. He'll probably always have to wear glasses, but by the time he's 21 (surgery consent age) there will have been significant advances in what they can do to fix his eyes. Hell, maybe they'll just insert a tiny robotic lens in there. Just like the Terminator.

Anyway, if anyone reading this thinks their kids need an eye check -- they do. And if anyone reading this thinks their kids don't need an eye check -- they do.

Seriously, what can it hurt? Nothing. What can it help? Everything.

Oh, one other thing. This morning right when Sean woke up, he asked if he could watch cartoons. We turned them on and he was quiet for a moment. Then he asked me if he could "have his glasses on." I think they might be helping.

He-Man Tom Brady Haters Club

2005-01-27T10:49:00.000-06:00

Superbowl Genius Tom Brady
Originally uploaded by Tug.

I don't hate the game or the playa, just Tom Brady.

I mean every time this guy takes the field he wins. Seriously. The Philadelphia Eagles have no chance in Superbowl 39. Brady's gonna put up his boring average numbers (Something like 200 yards passing and 2 TDs) and his team will win 31-17. Watch for it.

But his complete domination over the NFL is not why I hate Tom Brady. It's part of the reason, sure, but it's just part.

I also hate him for dating really hot chicks and having promiscuous sex whenever he wants it. (With models, and starlets and oh I hate him!)

I also hate him for being a multimillionare.

And for being much, much, much, much, much better-looking than I am. (I'm not gonna be in a Gap ad with Sarah Jessica Parker Broderick very soon.)

Let's face it, he's the Fonz to my Ralph Malph.

And do I want to be Ralph Malph?

No, no I don't.

Still smoldering

2005-01-12T11:19:00.000-06:00

Below please find the Tug On This approved reading list. After you have completed them all you will be a better person.
I put an * next to the ones I've read. Print and do the same.

The Dirty Thirty:
The Most Frequently Attacked Books Since 1965

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain *
Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley *
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger *
Deliverance by James Dickey
The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank *
The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test by Tom Wolfe *
A Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway
Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck *
A Hero Ain’t Nothing But a Sandwich by Alice Childress
If Beale Street Could Talk by James A. Baldwin
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou *
Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo *
The Learning Tree by Gordon Parks *
Lord of the Flies by William Gerald Golding *
Love Story by Erich W. Segal
Manchild in the Promised Land by Claude Brown
My Darling, My Hamburger by Paul Zindel
Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell *
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck *
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey *
Ordinary People by Judith Guest *
Our Bodies, Ourselves by Boston’s Women’s Health Book Collective
The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne *
A Separate Peace by John Knowles *
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut *
To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee *

Book Burning Burning

2005-01-11T09:27:00.000-06:00

Ok. This happens every year when a bunch of idiot, that's right I said IDIOT parents suddenly decide that some of the books their kid's schools are assigning are "bad" or "offensive" or "dirty." Unfortunately, many of these books are also "classics" or "watersheds" or "books that every living person on the planet should be forced to read and discuss."

Here in Kansas City two school distircts in two affluent suburbs -- one on the Kansas side and one on the Missouri side -- are embroiled in book banning piccadiloes right now. Both the Blue Valley and Blue Springs school boards are hearing parents complain about "terrible, offensive" books like Toni Morrison's "Song of Solomon," and Kurt Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse-Five." During the news story I watched last night about this debacle, I also caught the cover of (drum roll here) "Catcher In The Rye."

I can't believe I didn't see "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" in there along with "Are You There God? It's Me Margaret" but I'm sure they were both soaking in a bucket of lighter fluid while the cameraman was shooting the B-roll for the story.

Most of the parents I saw were concerned about the language, racism, war and sex in these novels. Unfortunately, they don't seem to be concerned by the things their kids can learn about language, racism, war and sex from reading these books, they only want to make sure they don't read them, and consequently, don't learn.

So ban the books school districts. Don't worry, there are libraries around the world that will still have them. You can also go to Read Print. It's a free online library that hosts full copies of tons of the classics. Thankfully, they are adding more every week.

And, kids, if you still want to read these books your parents are terrified of, you can come on over to my house. By my count I have read and own 20 or so of the most attacked books of all time. You can borrow my copy.

Or better yet, maybe we'll sit in a room and read it together. And after that, we can discuss it. What a novel -- no pun intended -- concept.

Shame on you lazy, idiot parents. Your kids are already learning everything you don't seem to want them to know from MTV. As you ban these books, I sincerely suggest banning the box, as well. As far as McTighe Haüs goes, I've got two boys, one is a toddler, one is an infant. When they grow up, they can read any book they like. If I'm concerned about its content (which I won't be) I will read it with them and we'll talk about it together.

In fact, I may just go out right now and get a couple of copies of "The Catcher In The Rye" and put them on their bookshelves next to "The Cat In The Hat" and the various Thomas The Tank Engine books. Why? Because I, for one, will be offended if my sons DON'T read these books.

To tell Blue Valley to leave the reading list alone visit Blue Valley School District.To tell Blue Springs, visit Blue Springs School District.

Daddy and Nick

2005-01-05T11:02:00.000-06:00

DaddyandNick
Originally uploaded by Tug.

This is a picture of me and my new son, Nick.

Hold on ladies, he won't be 18 until 2022.

Ralph and Warren

2005-01-05T10:35:00.000-06:00

In my life right now, there are two records being played incessantly, over and over again. One happens in my car, the other while I'm at work.

The Car:
Because I take my son Sean to school each morning, we listen to his music on my iPod.
Sidebar: If you don't have an iPod you are truly missing out. It will flat change the way you interact with the music you love and will also get you to broaden your horizons to genres, artists etc.

Anyhow, when I was in LA a few weeks ago, I was watching TV when I caught the tail end of a live performance from a band called Ralph's World on one of the morning shows. I immediately dug the instrumentation -- acoustic guitar, bass, keys and a mandolin -- I also enjoyed the fact that the first song they played was a rocker and the second was a country song. Hmmm, I thought.

Then I realized the song was about wanting to be a puppy dog. A puppy dog, a-ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff a puppy dog. Oh, I said to myself, Ralph's World was music for kids that adults won't hate. Interesting.

So I went to ralphsworld.com, ordered the two most recent records and Sean and I been loving them -- loving them -- since Christmas.

Seriously, if you have kids and would like a break from the Thomas the Tank Engine soundtrack, the Wiggles, Disney et al, check out Ralph's World. Plus, for daddies and mommies who play guitar, Ralph conveniently posts the lyrics and chords to all his songs on the site. Sean likes when I play Puppy Dog. (I like it too.) I can't wait until he gets the chords for the new record up there. Sean's fave is "Kid Astro." He calls it the planet song. Listen and you'll hear why.

At Work:
Bottom Line: Warren Haynes is sucking my will to listen to anything other than him or Gov't Mule.
The Mule's most recent record, "Deja Voodoo," is killer jam music and if you like the Dead or Allmans (Warren is also a member) you will love the Mule. They have a great site at mule.net with tons of stuff to learn and hear.

But if you really want to get a taste of what Warren can do, get yourself a copy of "Warren Haynes: Live at Bonaroo." It's avialable everywhere, including iTunes Music store. Man, this is a sweet record. All Warren, all acoustic. He opened one of the days at Bonaroo, and by the time he ended his set with a spectacular "Soulshine" there were around 30,000 people listening to him and his guitar. Also pay close attention to "Patchwork Quilt." If you like jam music, you might be able to figure out who he's singing about.

As Bono once said so eloquently, all you need is "three chords and the truth."

Peace.

10 Days Early

2004-12-23T14:34:00.000-06:00

Well, I can honestly say that when a baby wants to come, that baby is going to come.

I know because my 2nd son, Nicholas James McTighe, entered our world and our lives 10 days early (hence the title above) at 12:42 a.m. on Tuesday, December 21.

I'm not kidding, it was a whirlwind. It breaks down like this:

MONDAY 12/20
8:17 p.m
My wife gets home from water aerobics (that's right, water aerobics at 9+ months prego) and tells me that "Something might be going on down there."
"Pah," I say.

8:30 p.m.
She decides to call the doctor. She says she's feeling some "pressure."
"Double-pah," but this time, I think it.

8:40 p.m.
She tells me that she's having contractions and that she's going to pack her things.
"Hmmm," I ponder. "This might be the real deal. But certainly not, I mean we're 10 days early."

9:30 p.m.
After a series of contractions that are separated by the thin veneer of just 5 minutes, she decides to call her girlfriend to ask her to come over and watch our other boy while we go deliver the baby.
Finally realizing she's serious, I jump on board.

9:45 p.m.
We head to the hospital.

10:15 p.m.
In the hospital her doctor utters this simplistic phrase: "Yep, the baby's coming." Hey, I didn't need a medical degree to sort that one out. "Thanks Doc, here's a check for eleventy-billion dollars!"

10:15 - 12:00 a.m.
Things progress just as they should. At the stroke of midnight, Sarah starts pushing.

12:42 a.m.
Nick is born.

A miracle wrapped in a miracle wrapped in a miracle, people. Seriously.

Walt Whitman wrote that "a mouse is miracle enough to stagger sextillions of infidels."

Man, he should've seen a baby.

Happy holidays.

Flu? Oh pooh.

2004-12-14T12:40:00.000-06:00

Every year I forego the flu shot that my wife and my son always get. For him sure, I mean he's 3. And her, well, let's just say she's a rule follower. They say get a flu shot, she gets a flu shot. Me, never had one, never will. At least that's what I thought until 1:41 AM on Monday morning.

That was when I awoke with the knowledge that if the pain in my entire body didn't stop soon, I would rather die. Then I was on the can, off the can etc. ad nauseum. You're picking up what I'm putting down.

Seriously, I had a 24-hour bug that ripped through my soul leaving behind nothing more than tattered remnants of days gone by. Days when I didn't have the flu.

And then, at 2:23 this morning, just like Keyser Soze –
POOF! the flu was gone.

The moral of this story: Get your flu shots kiddies.

Moral #2: When that SuperFlu comes (like in Stephen King's "The Stand") we got trouble, baby. Trouble.

Just Learning

2004-12-03T23:21:00.000-06:00

I'm new to this Blog thing. It seems pretty self-indulgent if you ask me.

But I noticed you didn't ask me.

Look to this space for my musings on whatever the hell I happen to be musing about.

La La Land

2004-12-03T23:13:00.000-06:00

Los Angeles is strange. I saw two semi-famous people out here at the Loews Santa Monica today. First, I saw that long-haired Tony guy from the Gazelle Infomercial. Then I saw the girl that plays Nessa on NBC's "Las Vegas." Not a bad show, you should check it out.

The thing is that she was tiny, tiny skinny and he was fatter than you'd expect a guy who shills exercise equipment to be.

Hmmm.

Plus, this Pacific Time Zone is for the birds. La La land indeed.